I’ll Keep Fighting

I remember waking up one morning feeling this pit in my stomach. I had lost everything. My home, my family, and the future I had envisioned. I just couldn’t imagine how my life could get better. I had absolutely no support system. Everyone that had promised to be there for me had turned a blind eye. I was completely alone. Not only was I drowning in depression but I had severe PTSD. I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was fourteen and pregnant. I had to do what was right for my unborn child and myself. I could no longer live in the dangerous situation I was in. But by speaking up I was risking everything. I was about to be all alone with a child in tow.

How I could pick myself up and move on from that moment? I asked myself that question on a daily basis. I had no idea how to better my life. I was angry and hurt. I can tell you that before I started making those positive decisions to better my life I made plenty of bad ones.

Eventually there were people who stepped up and showed me what a positive life could look like. Something that I could get excited about. I finally had a future to look forward to. I never gave up and to this day I am still battling. I now have a beautiful life. But everyday I keep pushing to give my kids and I everything that we deserve.

I think about all of the negativity that I grew up with. I want so much more than that. I want my kids to experience what it’s like to have a healthy life. I want a healthy life. I will always fight for that. At one point I was a teen mom in foster care. I had absolutely no hope left. But one day I finally got the courage to start fighting. If I hadn’t, I have no clue where I would be today.

I am a warrior. I am strong. I am a survivor.

Finding your strength through the pain..

People often times see the trauma they’ve endured as an excuse. An excuse to blame their mistakes on. They will blame all of the bad decisions they’ve made on their past.

It’s easy to be the victim. At one time you were. And that’s okay. But you cannot always be the victim. A bright future is ahead if you are willing to fight. If you are willing to change your mentality.

Envision how beautiful your future can be. How you can take all of that pain and turn it into something incredible. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are worthy!! Just go out and prove it.

Continue to Love ❤️

Your heart is going to break. The people around you will make mistakes and you will undoubtedly get hurt. You’re going to ask yourself “How can I possibly love again?”.

No matter what you do to prevent heartbreak, it is still inevitable. Pain is apart of life. Without it there would be no personal growth.

Do not let other people’s actions affect your future. You are worthy and so are many others. Even though it may be hard, you have to pick yourself up and move on.

Continue to show love. The past is in the past and not everyone is out to get you. Opening your heart does not make you weak. It makes you stronger.

Standing together..

We are all going through some crazy times. Watching everything unfold has been unnerving to say the least. The shelves are cleared out, there are people dying, and most of us are stuck at home. We are all wondering at this point, when will it end?

I’m sure a majority of us were not expecting to ever live through something like this. But in these dark times it is import to all stand together. If we stand united it will be over before we know it.

This is not a time to act selfishly. Be there for you neighbors. Stay home if your sick. And most importantly keep a positive attitude. Not just for yourself, but for your family and friends.

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” – Maya Angelou

Inc.com

Show Love To Your Foster Children

I remember being in foster care like it was yesterday. I was so terrified when I got placed in my first home. I had no idea what to expect. I was broken, lost, and traumatized. My parents had betrayed my trust and I could not possibly trust again. How could I??

This is how so many kids feel when they enter the system. They just need an adult to step in and care for them. To show them how it is to truly be loved. Their parents may love them, but for some period of time they will not be with their kids. They have to better themselves before their babies can be with them again. So it becomes the job of the foster parent to be there for those amazing children who are feeling lost.

Though it maybe tough at times. Many of these kids do not want to be close to their foster parents. They are most likely counting down the days until they get they get to go home. Their frustrations will be taken out on you, simply because they have no one else at the time.

Its important to stick through this. Many of these children will not have positive roll models in their lives. You might be the only one. Show them some of the positive aspects of life that they may have been missing with their parents.

Becoming a foster parent isn’t about the money. It is about showing these children that it is possible to have a good life. Setting a good example for them so that they can hopefully use it in their futures. And most importantly showing them love ( something that they really need ).

Stay Motivated

We’ve all had those day. You feel defeated. Like nothing in your life could ever get better. Everything seems to be going wrong. You question if your life will always be stuck in this limbo.

Its important to remember that this to shall pass. I know that’s really cheesy, but its completely accurate. Everyone goes through difficult times in their life. How we deal with these challenges is what leads to things looking up, or these times dragging on.

Think about how you could make changes in your life to better your situation. Whether it be finding a job with a more steady income, going back to college, or taking some parenting classes. You have to work towards the positive outcome you are looking for. Nothing will fall into your lap. It takes hard work and dedication to make it through those trying times.

Though it is hard to find motivation, you have to remind yourself that better things are yet to come. Just stay positive and keep working towards your goals. One day you will look back and think about the changes that lead you to where you are currently. You will thank yourself. Do not give up.

Learning to Love after Trauma

Trauma scrambles your brain. It leaves scars that last a lifetime. You might begin to heal, but you will never forget the pain you endured. It will affect all of your decisions and relationships. How do you learn to build a relationship after all that you have been through?? After experiencing trauma it may be difficult to trust someone, let alone with your heart.

1. Learn to Love Yourself

In order to build a healthy relationship it is important that you begin to love yourself first. If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to?

A good way to start might be taking care of yourself. Waking up early to get a little alone time, going to the gym, or maybe even beginning to eat a bit healthier. Just starting to do things that make you feel better about who you are.

Go out with your friends, take that trip you’ve been dreaming of, or even buy that beautiful home you’ve been looking at for the last few months. Do what you truly want to be doing. You do not need a relationship to be happy. Wouldn’t you rather find happiness first, and the share that with your future partner??

2. Don’t Settle

Often times after we experience unhealthy relationships we still gravitate toward that in the future. We feel like we are not good enough to be truly loved by someone adequate . So we settle for what’s in front of us. No matter how many red flags we may see.

Look for a person who lifts you up instead of tears you down. Someone who always has your best interest at heart, and will never leave your side. Even when things get hard.

Find that person that has goals for the future. That wants to see success for not only them selves, but for you. A partner in crime rather than a controlling, toxic individual that you will never be able to grow with.

3. Let Yourself Trust

Trauma causes so many issues. Issues that you will deal with for the rest of you life. But you need to trust the partner you are with.

Do not hold actions from your past against them. In a relationship, trust is the most important aspect. If you cannot learn to trust, the relationship will eventually become toxic. Remind yourself that even in those moments of doubt that you chose this person to be your other half. If they have not given you a reason to doubt, you should have no reason to doubt.

4. Moments of Weakness

Nobody is perfect. Even people that have had a seemingly easy life. So for someone that has seen such horrors, it can be hard to stay strong.

You will have your moments of weakness. But if you are with a person who truly loves you they will completely understand. On those days that it feels impossible to have a normal life try to remember where you started. How far you have made it. You are STRONG. YOU ARE BEUTIFUL. YOU DESERVE AN AMAZING LIFE. Do not let anything hold you back.

"I'm Sorry if I Hurt You"

“I don’t know what to do or say to make things better. I messed up. I’ve made mistakes that I can never take back. I’m sorry”….

We have all been there. You made a horrible decision that negatively impacted someone else. It feels impossible to fix things. Honestly, sometimes you can’t. Sometimes that relationship is beyond repair. It hurts to know what you did. You wish that you could take it all back. This is when you need to learn from your mistakes. Make the changes necessary to ensure that you will not do something similar in the future. Reflect on it, and learn from it.

Body Positivity – LEARNING TO ACCEPT YOURSELF

For the past four years I have struggled with eating disorders. It started with me being overweight. Once I realized that I had gained a substantial amount of weight I started to panic. I was franticly trying to figure out ways to shed the pounds. I cut my portions. I started eating healthier. I even started becoming more active. But then I became obsessed. Obsessed with having the perfect body.

I liked the control over my life that I was feeling. If I ate a certain amount or worked out for a few hours a day I could achieve what I thought was perfection. I soon came to realize that I could never have the perfect body. That I would never be exactly where I wanted to be. There would always be something about my looks that I wanted to change.

Over time I wasn’t the only one that saw the weight loss. Everyone began to notice. It was empowering. Until it wasn’t. Eventually I wasn’t getting compliments. I was getting criticized for how thin I was. I could not see it. I thought that I was still over weight. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw that chubby girl that needed to change. I honestly just thought that they were jealous.

The healthier choices that I had started making turned into very unhealthy choices. I was no longer cutting portions, I was skipping meals. I was working out multiple times a day for multiple hours of the day. I would refuse to eat anything that wasn’t a “healthy food”. I would even get to the point that I couldn’t see straight. I was so hungry!!! But I absolutely refused to eat. Unless it was necessary (what I thought was necessary).

Eventually this turned into me binge eating. I would starve myself for so long I couldn’t handle it anymore. I remember eating whole pizzas! Like, large pizzas! This would then lead to panic and guilt. I started to make myself throw up whatever I had eaten. That way I would hopefully not gain any weight from all the food I had just devoured. This was the lowest point in my life. These disorders were affecting not only me, but everyone around me. It affected all of the decisions I made, everywhere I went, and everything I did.

I finally had a breakthrough thanks to an amazing friend. I moved in with her for a while and she saw that I was struggling. She kindly FORCED me to eat. Made sure that I was getting something in my system. She showed me that it was okay to enjoy myself. That I could indulge in some “unhealthy” foods. That life was more than just being skinny or perfect. It’s about being healthy and HAPPY!!!! This began my journey to loving my body (body positivity).

So, what is body positivity??

It is having a positive outlook on your appearance and accepting yourself as you are. For all of your flaws. It is being okay with the acne on your chest or the stretch marks on your thighs. Accepting that you do not have a flat stomach, and loving yourself anyway.

Why its important..

We grow up watching flawless actors and actresses on TV. We envy their perfect looks. We are taught that stretch marks, acne, and love handles are not attractive. If you have any of these things as a young adult you are often times bullied. You are made to feel like you are not good enough. This simply isn’t true. Our worth is measured by more than our physical appearances. What makes up our heart and souls is what’s truly important.

Body Positivity is so important because it helps us realize that we can be happy just the way we are. We do not need to have movie star looks to have a good life. You do not need to be Instagram ready all the time. You can actually relax! Enjoy a bowl of pasta. Go run errands without any make up on. The only person you need to impress at the end of the day is yourself. Nobody else really matters. As long as you can look in the mirror at the end of the day and feel proud. Who cares what others think?

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