Trauma scrambles your brain. It leaves scars that last a lifetime. You might begin to heal, but you will never forget the pain you endured. It will affect all of your decisions and relationships. How do you learn to build a relationship after all that you have been through?? After experiencing trauma it may be difficult to trust someone, let alone with your heart.
1. Learn to Love Yourself
In order to build a healthy relationship it is important that you begin to love yourself first. If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
A good way to start might be taking care of yourself. Waking up early to get a little alone time, going to the gym, or maybe even beginning to eat a bit healthier. Just starting to do things that make you feel better about who you are.
Go out with your friends, take that trip you’ve been dreaming of, or even buy that beautiful home you’ve been looking at for the last few months. Do what you truly want to be doing. You do not need a relationship to be happy. Wouldn’t you rather find happiness first, and the share that with your future partner??
2. Don’t Settle
Often times after we experience unhealthy relationships we still gravitate toward that in the future. We feel like we are not good enough to be truly loved by someone adequate . So we settle for what’s in front of us. No matter how many red flags we may see.
Look for a person who lifts you up instead of tears you down. Someone who always has your best interest at heart, and will never leave your side. Even when things get hard.
Find that person that has goals for the future. That wants to see success for not only them selves, but for you. A partner in crime rather than a controlling, toxic individual that you will never be able to grow with.
3. Let Yourself Trust
Trauma causes so many issues. Issues that you will deal with for the rest of you life. But you need to trust the partner you are with.
Do not hold actions from your past against them. In a relationship, trust is the most important aspect. If you cannot learn to trust, the relationship will eventually become toxic. Remind yourself that even in those moments of doubt that you chose this person to be your other half. If they have not given you a reason to doubt, you should have no reason to doubt.
4. Moments of Weakness
Nobody is perfect. Even people that have had a seemingly easy life. So for someone that has seen such horrors, it can be hard to stay strong.
You will have your moments of weakness. But if you are with a person who truly loves you they will completely understand. On those days that it feels impossible to have a normal life try to remember where you started. How far you have made it. You are STRONG. YOU ARE BEUTIFUL. YOU DESERVE AN AMAZING LIFE. Do not let anything hold you back.